The Movies

Nothing is worse than being trapped in a dark room with a bunch of strangers and sticky floors. That's right, the horror of the movie theatre.

This is where the problem starts. I see an advert or here about a movie that I just have to go see before the whole thing is spoiled for me on Pinterest. So I have to make a decision. Do I venture this great feat alone or do I try to get a group of friends to go with me?




Intense staring at phone comences





 

 

 

 

 I don't know. I don't want to bother anybody.  I can't handle rejection at this point in my life. Should I call them? Or is text better? I wonder if I should google it? Nope. What if no one wants to see it? What if they think I'm a nerd for wanting to go see it? Oh wait...moot point they already know that. I don't know what to do.

My cat is ever so helpful in these situations

 

After my meltdown, I decide it's best if I take this venture alone. Thanks to technology and the internet I no longer have to face anyone when going to see a movie. Which is good,as I have seen too many films I had no intention of seeing simply because my brain stops working when I have to make eye contact with another human.


So I pick a great spot in the theatre. It's my day off, so I make sure to pick the weirdest time, so I have the best change of being alone. Which is nerve-wracking in it's own right, but much better than crowded and full of people.

I'm sitting waiting for the previews to start when someone decides that with all the empty seats around me they need to sit right behind me.

No but seriously. I realize we've already established that I watch too much television as it is. But I know how this ends. I've seen enough CSI. So I bring my arms up to my neck to avoid being choked by rope which is how they get you. And now I'm on edge for the duration of the film  I can't get up and move because I would feel compelled to explain to the guy behind me why I have to move.

And that never works out very well. So I sit and I suffer. But I saw my movie.