That One Time I Signed Up For Eharmony

I hate the blue shell. Screw you Peach!

There are day when I feel alone in life. I like being left alone but I don't like the feeling of loneliness. So with that somber mood taking over I decided what I needed to do was to bring a man into my life. And then I freaked out.

Oh my God! What if we have a good first date? What if we go on more? And kissing and hand holding and deep discussions, I can't handle all that at once. Dear God, what if we move in and then talk about marriage. I don't have a good enough figure for a wedding dress. I'd have to work out, watch what I eat. Ack, and then I'd have to go dress shopping with people. Ahhhh. I think I'll just eat this chocolate bar and watch Netflix instead.

Many conflicts could be avoided if we all sat down with some chocolate and the next episode of Supernatural.

This happened a few times over the course of a month. I'd really think about dating websites and then wind up in the fetal position on the floor breathing through a paper bag. But I finally got over that enough to at least start with the initial questions.

Baby don't hurt me no more.

The first thing you go through is a personality reading. I know I'm at least fourteen different types of insane so that part was easy. I believe that's why I get along so well with animals and babies. They see that slightly crazy look in my eye and know that they better listen.

And they do it too.

Then it moved on to asking me about myself. This is the scary part. I have missed out on so many opportunities (I'm lucky I was able to get through college) because they want a paragraph describing me. I literally can not do this. I can not write about me. I get too nervous, up to the point where my hands are so sweaty I can't grip the pencil.

You know, I don't think it's even worth it.

And this site wanted me to rate my level of attractiveness. That is when I stopped filling out the profile and just shut it down for good. I don't mind being the crazy cat lady.