That Movie I Tried to Watch

I think it is best for the general population that I do not visit the movie theater any more. Or, as it would be more convenient for me, the people should avoid the theater when I am attending. I'm thinking a big sign out front just to let everyone know.

Death to all who enter here.

My dearest mother really wanted to see Maleficent but she didn't want to go alone, which I sort of understand but no not really. I agreed to go with her however because she is my mother and I feel a fond attachment for her person. We went on a Tuesday night pretty late in the evening per my request. If I would have know beforehand just how many teenagers were going to be there I would have called the whole thing off.

I hate it when school is out. I really do. Because then I have kids at my workplace and they are freaking everywhere else because they have nothing better to do. Apparently these kids didn't think the movie was good enough or as exciting enough as their personal Facebook page because two of them decided to log on right after the opening credits. Really.

Hark what light through yonder window breaks.

Normally, I keep my feet propped up on the chair in front of me to keep people away. This time my mom distracted me and of course this group got in front of us. Now the phones were being kept under purses so there was a golden light shining on the sides of their armrest. Honestly, if I was any kind of normal it would have been easily dismissed. But I'm not and that stupid light was all I could focus on. Naturally, I slammed both feet into their chairs. They glared up at me and I took that time to 'nicely' tell them to put their cellular phones away for the duration of the film. After the third time I kicked the chair and put my naked feet in their face, the kids decided this wasn't the movie for them after all and kindly vacated the premises.

But there was a second evil lurking about in the area. I think movies should be like plays. Once it starts, they shut the door and bar all entry. Lateness from myself and others is a source of anxiety for me. Why are they late? What are they planning? Should I duck and cover? Dear Lord, why are they sitting next to me? There are open seats. Leave my airspace alone. 

They ignored my inner screams of terror and proceeded to make themselves at home in the chairs next to me. Now I'm really on edge because they are late and near me and it's all too much. And then the little rats start talking to the movie. They felt the need to explain every action and reiterate any lines they found funny.

Before I continue, I would like to explain something to you. Think of me as a rubber band. This rubber band gets stretched tighter and tighter by each little thing until it is set to snap at any moment. So after dealing with the phone teens and these loud, rude kids coming in late plus the fact that the theater itself was packed with people and my mom and I were boxed in the middle. I really don't think the blame lies only with me.

I snapped and I snapped hard. I called them many names that I'm sure would have made my mother beat me into next week if she was paying any attention at all to the drama that was going on beside her. After several choice nicknames and swear words, I also persuaded these upstanding citizens to shut their large trap and watch the rest of the movie in utter silence.

I am very surprised the manager was never called in or that that a punch was never thrown in my direction. But I think I will wait and Redbox the movie I want to see.